Sorry
by Twitz
Summary: After two years of being together, he finally said, 'I'm sorry'. MayamaXYamada. oneshot!


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Honey and Clover! If I did, Mayama would end up with Yamada :P. So, yet another story from good old me ^^.**

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"Yamada…"

"Does this fit me?"

"Um, Yama-"

"This one looks pretty, doesn't it?"

"Look, it doesn't matter-"

"Which one do you like?"

Mayama gave up after being deprived of talking for three times. He sighed and excused himself to go outside and have a smoke. He could see the disappointment in her eyes.

_I can't blame myself. I can't be selfish. I can't just be with her when I know I really don't love her._

"Mayama!" A high-pitched voice shouted. Who else could it be, but her?

"Are you done?" Mayama asked her. Yamada nodded.

"Are you hungry?" He asked her. _I'll be kind to her, one last time as this._

"Yup!" She beamed. With her were five bags. Mayama didn't bother on helping her since they were light, containing only clothes.

"Well then, let's get running. It looks like it's going to rain soon." He said to her.

_At least it could have been sunny a little longer…_

After a brisk ten minute walk, Mayama and Yamada entered a restaurant.

"Wow! You're too kind Mayama. I bet this restaurant is super expensive!" Yamada said. Mayama barely smiled at her.

"Not really… Well, let's go inside."

As they chose a table, a waiter came up to them and got their orders. Yamada enjoyed her meal, as Mayama only stared at her. When Yamada noticed this, she lightly choked, alarming Mayama.

"Are you okay?!" He said, worried.

"Yeah… I'm fine. I was just surprised to see you staring so intently at me like that." She smiled.

_Please stop smiling Yamada… You're making it harder…_

"Oh. You got me worried there." He faked a smile. Inside, he was arguing with himself if he should do it or not.

"Oh Mayama… You worry too much." She smiled at him again. He felt a pang of guilt inside. She was just so sweet, and innocent.

"Yeah… That's just me…" He said, as he played with his fork.

"You're not touching your food. Is something the matter?" Yamada asked. Mayama hoped that she wouldn't notice it.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking about work. That's all." He lied. Good thing Yamada was too naïve to notice that he was hiding something.

"Oh. Okay. Let's resume to eating. Our food's getting cold." She said. She smiled again, for the third time.

Mayama didn't feel hungry at all. Maybe treating her to lunch one last time would be both a good memory, and a painful one afterwards. Not wanting to worry her, he forced himself to eat. Every time their eyes met, Mayama felt guilty. She was too kind to get hurt. Too kind to be unloved.

After about fifteen minutes, Yamada was finished with her dish.

"Mmm… That was really yummy. We should come here often," suddenly, she covered her mouth, "oops! I forgot… Err… Don't worry, my treat next time."

_Next time?_

"Yamada…" He started. Somehow, a certain feeling of something that wouldn't sound good came up to her.

"What is it, Mayama?"

"I don't know how to say this, but… I… I want to… break up… with you…" Yamada's eyes shot up at hearing this.

"Is it because of the clothes I chose?"

"No, it's not that-"

"Is it because my hands are calloused because of all the pottery I do?"

"No, Yamada-"

"Is it because of _her_?!"

"No! No… It's not because of her…" His voice became weak now.

"Then what is it? Is it because I cut my hair too short? Is it because I'm a bad kisser? Is it because I'm not good enough for you???" Her voice rose higher now that all the people were giving them looks.

"No! No! And No! You look beautiful whatever hairstyle you get. I never judge kisses. And third, it's not you who's not good enough for me, but I myself. You're the one who's too good for me, Yamada." He explained, but she already started crying. Her soft, painful subs increasing the guilt inside of him. Mayama snatched some bills from his wallet and slammed them on the table, as he grabbed her bags and her, leading her outside the restaurant.

Once they were outside, he dropped her belongings and hugged her. Yamada tried to push him away, but he was too strong for her.

"Please stop crying. I'm breaking up with you not because of the things you said earlier, but… it's that… I… I just don't love you…"

_Finally, I said it. After two years of hiding, pretending, I finally said it._

"Although it word hurt you to say this, but, being with you was just an act… I couldn't turn you down when you confessed to me. You deserve the love of the man who you love. But that man's just not me, Yamada. Please don't think that it's me who's too good for you. You're better than me in lots of ways. And… To be honest, I don't deserve your love at all."

"Yeah, you don't deserve any of it…" Yamada said, out of anger and frustration. But Mayama knew and saw right through her that she was lying. He picked the bags and handed them to her. Clearing the strands of hair on her face, he leaned in and gave her one last kiss. She tasted of strawberry since the dessert she ate earlier were strawberries. It lasted for a few seconds when he pulled apart.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, for Spain." He said to her. Yamada angrily rubbed her tears away.

"So it really _is_ because of her!" She insisted.

"No. It's not because of anyone okay?"

"You're a liar."

After a while of silence, Mayama spoke up again.

"The times I've spent with you were wonderful, although I get beat up a couple of times. You're a nice girl. Any guy would be very lucky to have you. I hope you'll meet someone better. Someone who can truly love you… The way you want him to."

With that, he turned around and started to walk away. But he felt a tug on his shirt. He didn't turn around anymore.

"You really didn't love me? Even for one single day of those two years?" She asked him.

He looked down, a little ashamed, but relieved nonetheless, that his pretending was all finally over.

"I'm sorry."

As he walked away, the rain started, adding to the already tear-stained face of Yamada, and making her heart surge with pain. He stopped pretending, because he didn't want to hurt her any further by making her believe that he really loved her.

He did love her, but it wasn't the way she wanted it to be.

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Hmm, what do you think? I got the idea from listening to Maria Mena's song with the same title, 'Sorry'. Listen to it if you could ^^. Um, if you want me to make this into a fulltime story, then... why not? :). Just review and tell me if you like the story and if you want me to continue this.  
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